Its a new year, and for the first time it feels like it. Things are changing. Im changing. Im out of a relationship that i should have been out of ages ago. Theres no denying that i let it drag on. To be honest i new it wouldn't work as soon as he told me he wouldn't go to LACMA with me to see an exhibit by my favorite artist, Baldassari. Is that shallow? I read somewhere that dating younger guys is in style this year, but cheating never is so i think that just cancelled its self out. Shit. I should have thought that one threw.
Is it bad to say that im excited to be single? Cause im like giddy. I can finally concentrate on my self! Iv'e been going out to parties and even catching up with old friends. Im acting again and iv'e been getting a lot of call backs from agencies which is awesome. Im also doing pretty good in school. I mean i liked the security of having a boyfriend but i enjoy being alone a little too much to be in a relationship. Unless it was Mick Jagger. Hes my only exception.
Don't get me wrong, theres a down side too. First off im kind of a natural bitch, and i find it kind of hard to be nice to guys. I hate waiting for some guy to call or text me. I hate not having a boyfriend to talk to when im feeling like shit, but i also love the freedom and independence involved with being single. I don't have to inform anyone of the stuff im up to and everything goes better when im alone. No one expects anything from me and i don't expect anything from someone else.
I guess the search continues, but then again i dont think it ever really ends. Lets just hope that my search brings me to someone more like Todd Hacket then Homer Simpson. Or maybe someone that enjoys the day of the locust as much as i do. But in the meantime im happy. I have good friends, a family that loves me, and my self. I think i love my self more then ever. I think im pretty fucking awesome and thats all that counts.
